Doesn't my zero of rain muttonate your lobster?

My one regret about learning bridge is that doing so took away a smaller pleasure: that of reading the newspaper bridge column in blissful befuddlement over novel terms like "vulnerable," "splinter bid," and "partner." I seem to recall that Swislocki, now departed for Browner shores, expressed the same regret.

Fortunately there's still Double Fanucci, whose 15 suits, multiple simultaneous dealers, and thousands of rules including Overpasses and the Balsawood Convention, provide ample obscurity for those of us who enjoy such things. As an added bonus, there's no risk whatsoever that one might learn the game's intricacies and render it non-opaque. Here is an educational deal.